Are you a big fan of any major pro sports team? What was your favorite subject in school? If you could travel back to any one point in time what would it be? What is the proudest moment or greatest achievement of your life so far? If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Salty snacks or desserts? What is a family tradition your family has? What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? What was your favorite toy growing up? Who was your favorite teacher or professor? What do you like the most about insert city of residence?
What is the craziest scene or event you have ever witnessed? What is your biggest pet peeve? What was the last book you read? When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? What was something that recently moved you? What skill or talent do you wish you had or were better at? If you could have a superpower what would you want it to be? What are you passionate about? What is your favorite movie? Are you a cat person, a dog person, both or neither?
What do you think is your greatest strength? If you had to be a vegetable, which vegetable would you least like to be? What was the last dream you had? If you could start a band, what kind would it be and would you name it? Were Ross and Rachel on a break? What was the first album you bought, and why did you buy it? Where do you see yourself? What is your favorite mistake?
Who do you look up to of the same sex? Who is your role model of the opposite sex? What are you doing? What is your favorite book? What is your guilty pleasure song? If you could choose a decade to grow up in, which would you choose? What was your first concert? What would your superpower be? And your superhero name? If you could live in any city, which would you choose? Could you spend a day without your phone?
What about a week? The Rolling Stones or the Beatles? If you could be a type of beer, which would you be? What is the last book you read? Did you like it? If you could have any talent, which would you have? What was your AIM screenname? Why did you choose it? Would you like to go out again next week? If you were stranded on an island, what is one item you would take with you?
Who is your favorite band or musician? Are you more of a morning person or night owl? Where would you go on your dream vacation? Who is the closest person to you and why? What is your favorite childhood memory? What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? Do you have any fears? If so, what are they? What are your current goals in life? Do have a favorite color and why? What would you choose as your top meal?
What is your favorite city you have been to? What is on your bucket list? If you had no fears, what would be the first thing you would do?
Do you have siblings? Where did you grow up at? What do value in others? What is your favorite book you have read? What is one piece advice you would give to someone? What is your favorite cuisine to cook? Do you have any vices? Do you speak any other languages? If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? What is your astrology sign? Do you have any awkward family traditions? If you were an animal, what would you be and why? Do you have any pets? Are you an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert? How long have you lived here?
Have you ever lived in another country? Are you more of an indoors or outdoors person? What is your favorite athletic activity? What are you known for amongst your friends? How do you unwind? What are you most grateful for? What is your favorite holiday? How do you celebrate it? What is the most interesting fact about you? If you were to go on a road trip, where would you go? Who has impacted you the most in life? What is one thing you still want to learn? What is your favorite way to spend your time off?
What brings you happiness in life? Do you have any pet peeves? If you were to be notable for something what would it be? What is the longest timespan you could live without your phone? What do you hate the most about modern dating? Has a book ever changed your life?
If aliens came to Earth, would you be scared of them or would you welcome them? Has a song ever made you cry? Why do you get up in the morning? If you could rewind time, what one moment would you want to relive?
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If you were famous, would you still want a relationship or would you sleep around? If you were free to murder one person without getting punished, would you? Do you think people are born good or born evil? Have you ever had a near-death experience? Would you rather be hideous or illiterate? Have you ever had your heart broken?
What was the first thing you masturbated to? Are you proud to tell people about your job or embarrassed about what you do? Do you resent your exes or do you wish them well? If you got a girl pregnant, would you consider it a burden or a blessing? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? Have you ever written poetry? What about song lyrics?
Who would you call if you only had moments left to live? Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in the afterlife? Do you usually go with your gut or with your brain? What celebrity do you think deserves more attention? Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Is there anyone in this world that you genuinly hate? Would the childhood version of you look up to the current version of you? How are you going to leave your mark on the world?
Would you lie to keep your best friend out of prison? What type of imaginary scenarios do you create in your head? Do you consider yourself to be a good person?
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Do you think you have a purpose in life? Are you following your dreams or have you given up on them? Which gender stereotype about men do you hate the most? If you could erase specific memories from your mind, would you? Do you love your pets as much as you love your human family members? Have you ever seen a ghost? If not, do you believe they exist? Which fictional character do you relate the most to?
Would you choose to live forever if you had the opportunity? Who was your hero when you were a little kid? How do you feel about me? Have you tried to Google me? How long have you prepared for this date? Do you easily get bored? Can we try not to touch our phones for half an hour? What do you like about me so far? Do you feel things deeply? Have you tried suppressing your emotions? Are you okay talking about feelings? Do you stare at your ceiling before you sleep? Which has a higher spot in your priority — relationship or career? Are you one of those people who consider dates as job interviews?
Okay…so how many dates have you been on before this? How many hearts did you break in the past? When is the right age for you to settle down? What would you do if I just start crying and screaming right now? Do you believe in astrology? If I tell you our zodiac signs are super compatible, will you agree on a second date? Have you ghosted someone before?
Who has been the biggest influence on your life? What really makes you laugh? What should I know about you that I would never think to ask about? Have you traveled anywhere really cool lately? Is there anywhere else you would love to live, other than here? What do you feel most passionate about? What is your favorite thing to cook? Women like to be pursued and men should initially be leaders that way. Well, lets see, I live in Boise, Idaho. There's a starter for you! It just plain stinks here.
I am a almost 55 and in good shape, yes, that's someone else is perspective. I was married for 24 years: I have dated many women I found "attractive". I don't think so! Do women have to settle? Online dating here in the Treasure Valley is exceptionally bad due to it is very family oriented atmosphere. Most women I found I was attracted with online websites to other than their physical attributes is their profile. Many women are either bombarded or the file is fake or maybe my profile and images need adjusting? I'm not sure, dating right now at least with online dating is at an impasse.
I do understand the pool becomes smaller the older you get. Women in the old days were very old fashioned and real ladies which the great majority of women really were at that time. Today quite different and Not ladies at all either. Good guys seem to think good women are looking for assholes. So perhaps good women have a reason to be cautious all around.
I wish people would acknowledge how much of finding love is the luck of the draw, not a meritocracy. Hi Folks, I won't reveal who I am on OkCupid, But i'm a software engineer and I made my own program to datamine the profiles to find out the odds of everything. I don't live in Melbourne, Australia but I datamined this city as an example. What it revealed was the following:. There is about users active within the last month at the time I datamined.
Turns out Dubai has better odds for dating. The most conflicting question between the two sexes were "men like playing video games a lot" and women don't like men playing video games. For one particular question that was asking what is the most annoying thing about dating online, women said "men just want hook ups" while men said "Sick of the same type of dates each time". The "research" of this article seems pretty weak and uses a bad example.
She was active for a week or less? Meanwhile, the guy had been active for months. Try reading this article: I tried online dating for a couple of years. I spent time writing my profile, adding pictures and trying to accurately list hobbies, etc. I wrote crafted messages, carefully read profiles and was always respectful. I did not write to women who said "don't write me" for criteria I didn't meet.
Most of the women were very much like the "alternet" article, above. They were not serious about a relationship even if they claimed to be and they took advantage of the situation. It's hard to blame them and they didn't mean any harm by it. It was simply "too easy". They could enjoy the ride for however long suited them and hop off when they wanted. The online dating experience for men is nothing like that.
I definitely had to do all the work in addition to sending the first message. Decisions were always left to me such as where to go. It was always my responsibility to make sure the date was interesting. It was up to me to provide or initiate interesting conversation. So, we'd go out once or sometimes more but then she'd stop responding. Almost exclusively, that was the way women dealt with it. There was only one I can remember that bothered to reply and tell me we weren't a match after a date.
More than one woman told me she wasn't interested via message before we dated and I appreciated the response and always said so, in a polite response. It's discouraging to hear how many men abuse women who take the time to say "no thanks". Decent men appreciate it, believe me! Sadly, the experience was fruitless and frustrating.
Most of the time, women didn't respond and I had to work really hard to get those dates. This breeds an environment where men have to "shotgun" out messages. I've never done that but it might be the better way to have success. I think online dating is bad for women because they get flooded with crap and at the same time, can fall into the trap of taking the good ones for granted.
Online dating can be difficult for both sexes. However, it really is more difficult for men. That's just the reality of it. And I know it's not all bad. It's worked for a lot of people. Then women date a guy and when she learns of his Flaws, as no Man is perfect , she gets tired of putting up with less-than-perfect and then boot him to the curb.
In 30 seconds or less she is then back on the Internet searching for Mr Perfect, she finds the next Man and the vicious cycle repeats itself. I'm a woman, attractive, good head on her shoulders, financially independent. And the experience you are describing is happening to me on match. The men I went on dates with just tried to hook up, although claiming that they are looking for a life partner on their profile. Looks like this is not a gender specific problem, but perhaps the majority of people on there being low quality. The problem here is pretty simple: Women know that they will get a shit ton of messages and likes, even the marginally attractive ones.
Therefore, they have a reason to be as picky as they want. But that comes at a price. Most of those messages are awful and disrespectful. Men on the other hand get nowhere unless theyre, like someone else said "a non famous Brad Pitt. In reality its only a small percentage of both parties that are shallow and only interested in "the book cover" so to speak. Leave them alone if they are not interested.
Dont be a disrespectful creep, because not only will you not get anywhere yourself, but you will ruin it for all the nice guys. Give some of them a chance. The ones who arent being disrespectful dont deserve to be brushed off just because "eh, Ill get more like them anyway. Dont complain about how all guys are the same when you only go after certain types of guys and ignore ones that are possibly different.
They dont want someone to treat them like a sex object and make creepy remarks about their bodies. Also learn to take no for an answer. If shes not into it let it go, dont harass her. I agree with what the AW in the interview said. Most of the guys who messaged me were older men posing as men in their twenties.
I got messaged a lot by guys who just were interested in hooking up, a decent number of which had fetishes, some of which were kind of terrifying. I went on 20 dates all of which ended in flames. One guy talked about his ex the whole time and then told me he planned to take me to his family reunion for the second date to meet his family. Another told me he was talking me to dinner, drove me to his place and then demanded I clean his apartment if I wanted a ride home.
Another completely lied on his profile and I thought he was just another nice college student. He was 35, jobless, living in his car because his ex threw him out and he was hoping he could crash with me in exchange for sex. The only successful date I went on was with a nice guy pretty far on the spectrum. Unfortunately we didn't match very well in real life and now are just friends. I'm incredibly introverted person so I have to say, I'm still pretty traumatized from the experience.
I messaged guys and only responded to messages that seemed to be from "nice" guys. I am not huge on looks, I could care less about colors or height or things. I really based my selection off of the profiles the guy's wrote. I don't care a ton about education level, I honestly was looking for a nice guy to sit down and talk to but got nothing more than a horror show.
I work with all men so I am very sympathetic to the nice guys out there who get the short end of the stick. It just takes a very thick skin, a lot of courage and energy for us ladies to put ourselves out there like that, same as you. A lot of nice girls aren't cut out for it, so try to be patient and understanding. It's obvious we speak different languages. Men, we need to stop being afraid of rejection. I'm happily single, but not for lack of options. If I see a pretty woman, I say hi. If she's into me, great. If not, her loss. If you work on being the man you want to become, you don't have to worry about some girl sifting through profiles to find you.
Geek or no geek dating: But this is my humble opinion after dating and trying for years.
Match Profile Example
It's time to wake up and grow up i guess; maybe they would date real women for a change, or it will be pumping a soullessclone or avatar pretty soon. The elites are already on to it for 50 to 70 years Saying that men destroy the planet and all it's citizens provides a pretty good explanation of why you're finding what you find when you look for men. You used a 19 year old girl for this survey?
She can't even qualify for half the profile questions AND she was online for 1 week? I think the legitimate women are online because of busy work schedules and lifestyles and they don't hang out anywhere much My reason too.. The rest of the "flakes" yep , met three flakes in 2months online have insecurity issues , are demanding to the point that they should probably start adopting cats for the future they will eventually be that older woman with a bunch of cats , sad but So WHY would a woman resort to online dating if real life meetings and dating was working for her?
Cause they were NOT working for her!! They were extremely unsuccessful in the real world so the last resort is get tons of attention online and live in that fantasy romance which will prob never happen.. Hi - No, actually at the time of this interview she was in her mid's and already married. She was talking about her past experiences with the service. The author says that men are mistaken when they think that women pick through messages and discard them all without answering.
Then the author interviews a women who describes how and why she picked through messages and discarded them all without answering. Are men also mistaken to assume that women aren't putting any serious effort into finding someone via online dating while guys are laboring over carefully crafting personalized messages for months?
Because the interviewed woman quit after one week and sent no messages. I was crushed when my boyfriend of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help. I wasted so much time and effort trying to get him back until I hit on the real thing. And that is Dr Mack. He was different from all the rest Thanks Dr Mack from the depths of my soul!
I am extremely happy now. I don't think that's the case with online dating The problem is too many women are skipping through every guy interested, and looking for the tall dark and handsome guy in a sports car. It's like the women are standing above a box full of little puppies single guys and trying to decide which worth adopting. Guys can only hope someone will be merciful enough to answer any of our messages. I feel the same way about the guys looking at my profile. I actually told him that I was not a puppy that he got to pick out and decide to date.
I don't answer most messages because it's a sexual comment or some other creepy message. I also don't give a second look to people who have nothing further than a high school education. I've gotten several messages saying "would you date a felon? I will also ignore messages from guys who have no job and live at home. I'm 34, I don't need that. Am I being too picky?
I don't think so. I have also found that the guy who says he's the "nice guy" often isn't. That's the guy I'll go on a date with, I will SHARE the cost of dinner and whatever activity we choose, and then he gets pissed that I won't sleep with him on the first date.
Some of your complaints seem legitimat --I've also found that women who claim to be "kind" and "caring" on their profiles are usually anything but. Once you've read the answers to their "match" questions, you discover they're extremely judgmental. And pressuring someone for sex is never acceptable. That aside, the rest of your comment seems excessively harsh. A college degree isn't necessarily a measurement of intelligence, nor is it an absolute factor in determining someone's income--these days a person can have a degree and still only find work that pays so little, they're forced to live with their family--school teachers would be an example, many are forced to drive Uber or Lyft to make ends meet.
On top of that, many successful writers, artists, musicians, programmers, people working in tech, etc. But it seems many women like yourself rule out all these men because some are forced to live at home and others don't have degrees. This kind of attitude is what's creating the kind of experience men like the one in this article described--not just ones with serious emotional issues and troubled pasts.
I would urge you, and all women using these apps for that matter, to greater consider your position. Passing up men for superficial reasons who you'd otherwise click with does no good for yourself. It will also destroy online dating as men start to realize they can't get a foothold and start leaving in droves. The thing that strikes me as strange is, on a visual medium where you 'look' for a partner, the undesirable, or relatively unattractive contestants are doomed from the start, why would either man or woman go out of their way to set themselves up for failure?
I've met, and been enamoured by men that I wouldn't have looked twice at online, find a playing field that lets you play to the strength you have, instead of throwing yourself at the mercy of the Adonis that's only a click away! Go outside and find groups to meet people, go walking, join a band, anything!
Socialising is far more likely to land you a date, and a real connection on top of that! Let's be honest here. Most not all women on dating sites are extremely demanding when it comes to selecting a merely casual dating partner. Let that sink for a moment. But if you think about it, why the heck they still searching googling these kind the dating sites cons of articles?
Because all dating sites sell illusion, a digital age illusion. It's not because of their pretty faces or their slim bodies. In short, dating sites girls are usually have nothing else going on in their lives, aside from their smartphone notifications. They will never find that "click" feeling, EVER. Trust email him for any kinds of help is very capable and reliable for help Ultimatespellcast yahoo.
Guys date European women so much more classy,engaging and fun. Dont play these silly immature games with women from america. They are way out classed in everyway. Women have all the power. Due to slut shaming they don't message guys first unless you're A a male model or B look like you have a lot of money. Online dating is pointless for men since men have to do all the work. Women have all the power if they are young, thin and pretty under Otherwise women are invisible. Yet, Ironically, women will spend their 20's chasing all those players and bad boys who will never in a million years settled for these girls only to figure out that by the time they hit 30, all of the guys they could have had are long gone an these players and bad boys want nothing to do with a 30 year old girl cuz they're still getting attention from the 20 year old ones.
I haven't had to date a 30 year old EVER. Yes, I'm a man in my 40's who married a girl I met in my 30's. She was 19yo at the time and I married her years later. While in my 20's I was one of the "nice" guys who rarely could get a date, this was pre-online dating. While I spent a decade overcoming my shyness the "alpha" dudes were pounding the young women left and right, pump and dump, ignoring the masses of nice guys who could not compete for one reason or another, shyness, etc.
Sad but true and an example of "Youth is wasted on the young women ", who don't know by experience how to make the best use of their youth PLEASE, Ryan - tell me that your entire article was a facetious ramble that was written late one night after you had consumed way too many drinks. Yeah - like two quarts of proof rum! I have never read a less informed article on inter-net dating. You have the sheer audacity to state that what you have written is 'the whole story'? You state this, based on two interviews? You, my friend, are naive, foolish and ignorant beyond belief.
I would have more confidence asking a street sweeper to conduct a triple bypass on someone's heart than to rely on your advice on dating. Finding a match on an online dating site takes a lot of work, especially since most sites today are overrun by scammers. That said, for most people who are no longer in school, they are probably still the best 'focused and pro-active' option. Yes, you are likely to be disappointed, to be hurt along the way, but then I suspect that even though you were married before you left school, you still had your heart broken once or twice before you met your wife.
And yes, it is possible to meet people in church, at meet-ups and other special interest activities. However, a good many people you will meet in any of those places have no interest in finding a new partner. Pay close attention to what I have written my good sir - you married young and have only been married 15 or so years.
That's a bit harsh isn't it? What's Ryan ever done to you apart from waste a few minutes of your time reading his article.. That poor guy might not have all the answers but his article still provides food for thought - in my humble opinion please please don't bite my head off for it!
And while I had the same reaction as you, that ironically one day Ryan too might end up on a dating site, I really wish for him that he does not because dear god it is an ugly parallel dimension! Ryan, may your happily ever after last forever! We're already planning the places we'll be traveling together during our retirement.
But thanks for offering your perspective. Happy to hear of your success. All the best to ya and many more happy memories come your way! I have tried online dating on and off for a year, 2 years after my divorce. Met a few in real life. First one seemed decent, professional, fit and all but too arrogant and thinks he's perfect. Second guy almost stalked me so poof, I was gone! Third, I actually ended up dating. Normal looking guy with a decent job and seems to be responsible but way too insecure.
Currently talking to someone for 4 months now, the very last one I met online. I don't know where this is going but I don't worry whether it works or not. I am the type who lives in the moment. We talk everyday and are getting along very well. But I have deleted my account online, not because of him but because the people I saw on one site are the same people I have Encountered on another.
Same creeps who thinks they are 10 just bec they are muscular. I am well toned but never considered myself a Most people online think so highly of themselves but once you start talking to them, red flags started to come out. Pictures are so outdated, like 10 years or so ago And those are just some issues I have encountered. People online are serial daters. Call me old fashion but once I start dating someone regularly seeing him , I don't entertain any other men. I feel like I am not giving this one a fair chance if I do.
But most people online don't think that way, they think they always have a "reserve" so they don't take one person seriously and wolf easily let go of one. I don't blame them as there are too many people online to choose from. So good luck to all online daters! I think the most relevant thing you say is people are serial daters. Most people I meet online, especially the hot ones, are some of the most insecure people I've met Makes em feel better.
I just want to meet a girl I could be friends with before I start dating her. It is nice to get a male and female perspective on their expereiences. I never thought I would be trying online dating at my age over I am from the old school world of dating and have found online dating to be awkward and uncomfortable, not a fun way to meet people. I put up a direct, honest profile, stating what I was looking for on more than one different site. It has been extremely hard to find honest, genuine guys locally. I get turned off by guys calling me gorgeous, not saying more than hi, instead of simply asking questions to let me know that they are seriously interested in getting to know me.
When a guy does write me to say something more than "Hi," I have found out that a lot of guys have had their own drama with women. I hear the same thing over and over: Once you finally find someone who is looking for the same kind of relationship as yourself, you find you are both very skeptical of each other. I have only been able to go on a hand full of meet and greets only to find no connection. So, I too am trying to find outside interests to get away from the social media and hopefully, find the kind of relationship I am looking for.
Trying to remain hopeful and realistic. I also do not want to settle, as that is unhealthy, dishonest and not fair to both parties. I wish everyone the best of luck in searching for that special guy or lady! Since I've never been married, outside of a few long term relationships, I've been dating offline and online for a long time. They get hundreds of emails, and a lady you may have met at the gym who is a 5, thinks she's a solid 8 online. In the last year alone, I've met 4 women who said they were divorced but were really separated all with really unique stories as to why their divorce wasn't final.
Turns out, 3 of those 4 had family violence felonies pending against them! The 4th, I should have got up and walked out after she started talking. Not only did she lie about the little things on her profile, like having a degree, her occupation, and marital status, but she was a solid 2 compared to her pictures.
What did all the women I've met online have in common, a solid relationship with their phone. Now I call them out on the phone issue and I don't care what they think of me. If you can't take 30 minutes or an hour and put your phone in your purse or leave it in your car like I do, then stay at home browsing, FB, POF, Match, Instagram, or whatever else is the in app. I think you're giving women far too much credit. Granted there are guys out there that are creeps and they probably never leave the house and use somebody else's pictures, but I'm willing to bet they're few and far between.
I see no reason that a decent looking woman has to resort to online dating , unless she is super busy which i beleive is a great alternative for a busy person.. Essentially playing the role of the opposite equivalents of their male trolls , jerks and perverts You know what I'm a nice guy who's romantic, successful, and respectful and I get passed by and ghosted once things start to get real.
I think women like the idea of a relationship but have horribly overblown expectations. The three things I keep coming across are women who have no time to commit, just broke up recently and shouldn't be dating or they think far too highly of their prospects. Close your eyes picture the perfect guy now open them.
If you were that perfect guy would you settle for you? Having tried internet dating and meetup, I personally prefer "live and in person" approach to finding a match. Here is a point by point breakdown of the two different approaches. Dating sites -spend a lot of time setting up a profile which you hope will convey my personality and attract interesting guys -answer some multiple choice questions with four answers, none of which actually work for me really, I have to choose between a.
I just want sex b. I'm okay with sex on the second date c. I always wait for the third date before having sex d. I'm a complete prude who will never ever ever have sex.? Hey, since I'm definitely not comfortable with the whole casual sex thing, I guess I must be a complete prude. Now I'm feeling really great about myself! Okay, I'm interested in guys within a km radius, between , looking for a relationship, between , doesn't smoke, between , is single, between Yeah, I got a bunch of "hey sexy! Look through some more profiles, send a few more messages.
Show up, and the evening starts off really nice This guy doesn't seem to get it that I'm not that into hearing ghost story after ghost story. Okay, now he's trying to talk me into going to some dark secluded area on a ghost hunt What female in her right mind goes to a dark, secluded area with a guy she's just met? The whole internet dating experience is highly unpleasant. Meetup groups -create a profile, upload one picture, answer a few questions about interests, and I'm good to go -okay, let's see what meet ups are happening in my area. Join meet ups -pick an event that works with my schedule, show up for an evening of board games at a pub -have a nice meal out, play some fun games, meet some nice people.
Hey, I didn't meet the love of my life, but at least I had some fun, right? Meet a nice guy, exchange emails Plus, meeting people in person just feels more natural. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites; lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect.
Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off. I want to approach women in the real world, but I get in my own way as a shy nerdy introvert who has a roommate read, doesn't have a private place to take a girl back to, if they were so inclined. It's a lie that there's someone out there for everyone. After all, if that were true, there wouldn't be so many lonely people out there. Guess I need to just drop the sites and focus on trying to make myself happy in life without romance.
Nature didn't takes it's course as it did over That just doesn't work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself.
Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can't control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media.
I've been on Plenty of fish, okCupid, and Zoosk since November. It is now April. On PoF, I got lots of views, but the only message was an offer to sell me drugs. On okCupid, I didn't even get but a few views, and no messages at all. On Zoosk, I got lots of views and lots of winks, but only from guys out of the state, and again, no messages. On Zoosk and PoF, I even tried messaging guys first, but no responses. Almost all of friends married guys they met on these sites, but I have no idea how they did it.
It's like you're describing my experience on the dating sites. I sit down, think of witty things to write to guys, and I get nothing back. One evening, I read like 10 profiles, made custom messages that I felt were well thought out. This is on both OKCupid and Match. I do have one guy on OkCupid though who likes to send me dick pics I've met my girlfriend on a dating site. But I've read literally hundreds of profiles, contacted dozens of women, went to a dozen of a really bad dates before I've found someone. The problem is you're messaging guys out of your league. Close your eyes and think of the perfect guy now open them.
Would you as that perfect guy settle for you? I'm not messaging guys out of my league. I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he's going to be a little hefty, he's going to have a receding hairline and his face won't be clean shaven, he's going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he's also not going to be hugely successful, but he'll have his act together, he'll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I'd date me because I'm pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I'd be.
I think perhaps you're reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others. Kim, if you're not getting replies, you simply aren't attractive. I'm not being mean just being real. Don't kid yourself for the sake of saving your ego. I agree with you, Kim. It's the men who are delusional. I'm an average looking 35, slim but not gorgeous woman and I've had terrible luck online. Men DO assume that women have it made on dating sites, and we can just sit back and let the decent messages roll in. It's only the women who are under 30 and look like models who can do that. I started online dating when I was 26 and a size 3.
It didn't work for me much better than it does now. Men who look like George Costanza think they deserve Jessica Alba. And, will ONLY message the super hottest women out there. While we try to message guys in our own age range, with a similar level of looks and intelligence and get ignored. It's a waste of time and I am so done with it. There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 50 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online. However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence. In my case, I've had several dates from these sites.
The first gal profiled herself as The next gal was very nice and I had met her at a gym that we both were members several years back. Very attractive woman, but I was sure that I would be happy being with her every day for the rest of my life. I could have continued into a relationship with her just for companionship and sex, but that's not who I am.
I have to be convinced that I am falling in love with a woman, or could do so, before I am willing to fall into bed with her. Old school, I guess. That last gal messaged me relentlessly. She stated in her profile that she was "curvy"she was not, she was obese. Now here's the interesting thing. Like most other men here, I don't get a lot of message responses via online dating. But if I go out to meet women, I will get approached by fairly attractive women 20 years my junior, routinely. For some reason, I don't get approached by women within 5 years of my age or unattractive women.
I don't have to do any of the work. And again, they could end up being friends with benefits, if I were so inclined. But again, the issue is do I want to wake up to this woman every day for the rest of my life. So far, the answer has been no so no sexual activity occurs subsequently. I have thus concluded that real life, 3 dimensional contact is vastly superior to online dating if you are searching for a mate.
You get to examine the product up close and personal, and you're not confronted with them whipping out their photo album to show you 18 pics of them skiing, hang gliding, with their pets, their kids, grandchildren, or ex's. And conversation actually ensues without a question questionnaire. Best of all, you don't have to travel 30 miles to be disappointed. I'm out of material for now. I met my guy.
We have friends who met their partners on line If you havent met anyone after a few months then it is not the flaw of on line dating or the other gender. Why is it that many of the men or women behind those profiles you flip throgh have found success? People ARE meeting in person. YOU are the issue. You may be the greatest catch in the universe but YOU need to shake up your profile, message style, responses, etc. Dont just tweak a few variables but start afresh. Haha, isn't that funny, the guys profile needs to be shaken, as usual is the guys fault.
I have done online dating, for a good while, and met people, got some short relationships, out of it. One of the main issues are, a guy needs to send loads of emails to get very little replies from women. The other issue is due to women having to make nearly no effort, as are mainly the guys who contact them. So, all they need to do is look at the photos and choose, without even bother to read the emails, deleting them straight away. All because they think with so many guys contacting them, there's always a better one just about to appear!
The other issue, is how quick they are at labelling guys, any little thing he said she didn't like or goes how she thinks he should have approached her he is a creep a weirdo etc. Man, I totally feel you. But I think probably there is some other issue because I followed all the possible tips and i have never ever even thought about saying "ur hot" or stuff like that and I only met a girl who wanted to find a man to get a passport to stay in the country after several years. As if they were so much more special that we have to go beyond the moon not to even get an answer, because their "emotional" brain I am sarcastic about both labels you in two seconds.
I think it is really too simple for them at least too many of them and what does that say about their ability to approach real difficulties in relationships and life? Women dont send dick pics to guys. That's why we are not creepy.
If men didn't immediately make everything sexual they might have better luck. I never get guys that ask me about my interest or hobbies. A lot of the men are their own worst enemy. Guys rant in their profiles. They have few good clear photos or they choose photos with other women in there and dont crop them out. Most guys put very little effort into their profiles and then they are shocked women aren't interested. A lot of men come across as bitter, self-absorbed, shallow, perverted, womanizer. They can be the nicest person but if they display any of those qualities they wont get the time of day.
You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there's just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don't tickle their libido so we get ignored.
Women get some creepy comments but some nice comments too. Men get no responses and are wasting their time on money on these sites. Men don't get responses because they have a failure to communicate and they don't type so how do you communicate when you don't type the internet bathing system requires one to know how to type and if you pack it gets boring waiting on someone to respond back to you. Then again unfortunately there are so many women now that are either gay and or bi adding to the problem too.
As an internet busybody I hope to add my contribution to this awesome topic that has baffled the greatest and the not so great. The trend I see in most of the comments is Women siding with women and men siding with men, with few exceptions. Lots of people list personal anecdotes and use it it to generalise to what the real issue is. To me, after giving a lot of thought to this matter as a result of my own dating frustrations on Tinder, match , OK Cupid, and PoF. I think the problem is a matter of choice.
The ballooning of choice that internet dating has brought on now means we are no longer satisfied with our current options until our hands are forced.
In the old days,people just met partners I. School, at church or at work and found a way to make it work. Now you have a seemingly unlimited supply of partners. Even when you find one that is good enough, the current societal conditioning not to settle for anything for the best, or 'the one' just means the search continues. The 'top ' as in the most desirable of both sexes on these sites go on dates upon dates and most of them never quite find what they are looking for.
Making us all a little more shallower as a whole. Also, the modern individual is a little more narcissistic than ever. This gives a lot of us a false sense of our worth as people. This leads most young men and women to casually date till they wake up in Late thirties and early forties with a sense of urgency to find somebody anybody. I do not know how we can solve the dating problem but it's a problem both sexes have. Even Ladies on bumble the pro-female dating app aren't having much luck either.
Don't know why but it seams to be very logical. That's a lot of competition. And those guys that get picked don't have to settle at all, why would they? That's why women complain. They simply pick guys that they can't "afford". Women and men do exactly the same thing, they drop less interesting people as soon as possible.
The difference is such that women drop guys before they meet them, guys drop women after they have sex with them. It's the same outside the online world but on much smaller scale. The more attractive 50 stayed together not because they were never interested in opposite sexes, oh no, exactly opposite, they had very interesting encounters. They are just cool and every woman wants them.
10 Top Online Dating Profile Examples & Why They’re Successfull
So I just got this thought. Maybe the whole idea with monogamy is just an absurd? Maybe everything is all right but we are looking at it from wrong perspective? Maybe handsome guys should have many women and many kids and ugly guys should go to war and die? I've been on Plenty of Fish quite sometime and a few other dating websites, I'm a genuine guy, who will make an interest in reading and talking about interests. Yet get very few replies, but I have had people say I'm a good looking guy.
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The biggest problem with dating websites, is ratio, there is more men then women on dating websites Go in chatroom's and you will see probably about men to every women in these chatrooms. Dating websites, is a bit like a competition at least it seems like that, where you're competing with everyone else. I set up an experiment once, just to see one of the reasons, why guys might struggle on these sites I set up a female profile, with permission using a female friends photo's. Within minutes of setting up the profile, creating a fake bio Within half an hour, that profile had an incredible 75 messages from different guys, most put no effort in their messages or asking for one thing.
Sadly if that's the case for a lot of girls getting so many messages, I can understand why so many of us guys struggle on these sites to get replies. Another thing is and I have noticed it on quite a few of these female profiles, is the unrealistic expectations certain women set themselves. In the process extremely limiting her picks and possibly excluding somebody who's a bit shorter that could be the best partner for her.
We all have expectations but it's those unrealistic expectations sometimes that I think is another thing guys have to compete against and why these women are single themselves, the knight prince on horse back doesn't exist in real life. He comes to the village, impregnates all young women and goes away. Then he comes back next year. Women are programmed to have children with the best men they can find.
I'm not blaming anyone. The rest of life is a bunch of different stories, some are funny, some are happy but half of them are sad. And now because of the computers are running dating scene, we have data to prove it. I think that this is first stage, we just noticed that something is wrong. That was actually very smart experiment. Majority of these men are chasing after women that are not in their league. That explains why as a single 35 year old female with no children that I constantly get messaged by 19 years olds, 54 year olds, guys with 3 kids, and other men where we dont share the same values and ANY common interests.
I am also approached by men in other states that want me to pick up and move for them. I've clarified that I'm not interested in men outside my parameters but many think they can change my mind. They think they are so amazing that if I met them I will fall in love. Many women are different in that if a guy rejects us MOST will just move on to the next. When I reject men they become hyper focused on changing my mind.
I wish more people would adopt the notion that if someone doesn't want you that you should just move on. Even if you change their mind its usually temporary. If I want to have a child of my own and a guy has 3 kids and doesn't want more I'm not going to change my mind. I dont have time to give everyone a chance. If guys stopped messaging women they have no chance with and messaged women they have things in common with they would be better off instead of messaging some hot dream girl that is out of their league.
Many of these men get angry and lash out. And I'm also tired of the overtly sexual messages as well. You've deluded yourself into getting it the opposite way around. You are looking for nothing but hot, single men in their thirties, and so is every other woman on the website. Goes to show what primadonnas women on dating sites are when you can get it all this wrong.
But don't go telling someone you've never met she's "way past her prime. I do think it's funny that you label a "hot single guy in his 30s," as tops among men. Let me tell you , they're not all looking for that. I'm in my 30s and in great shape best of my life , 6ft tall, friendly, respectful, own a house, two cars, my own business, and vacation around the world. And I still struggle to get women who aren't overweight or who have kids to respond to me! My guess, for whatever reason, I don't photograph very well. And apparently, that's the most important thing.
8 Irresistible Dating Profile Examples For Men
I've always done much much better meeting people in bars. Honestly, I'd ditch the computer and go back to that in a second, except all of my friends are married and don't want to go out anymore. So, if I go out to a bar, I'm the weird guy out at the bars alone. It's not easy for anybody, unless you look like Brad Pitt. I can't believe the BS in this opinion piece. I've been online dating for years and only once in a blue moon will I receive a "well-crafted" message from a woman. I used bumble and exactly the same experience, usually it's just a"hi" or the equivalent.
Which effectively negates the idea that a woman has to message first because the onus is still on the man to create an interesting dialogue. Well i will certainly have to say that the real good old fashioned women of years ago really did put the women of today to real shame altogether since they were so much nicer with a very good personality as well as having good manors which made it very easy finding real love back then as well which today Most of the women are very Horrible to date unfortunately.
It is very difficult for many of us men to start a conversation with a woman since most of them aren't nice at all unfortunately which they will totally ignore us and walk away as well. Online dating is a real joke altogether since many women will not even show up when you set a place where to meet. So looking for love for many of us good men is like looking for a needle in a haystack which makes it very sad for us since many women nowadays like playing head games to begin with.
At least years ago there were really good places to go to meet a good woman for a very good relationship since you had parties, church dances, at school, through friends and families as well as neighbors that would introduce you to someone that they think would be right for you which now it has become very impossible unfortunately.
Man, I totally agree and I am saying this even if I am 30, sporty guy, can cook, have a PhD, write poems, participate in photography contests and earn a decent buck. However I am short, of very clear Italian descendant with baby face and slightly piggy nose and I might strike people as a bit nerdy even if I am very outgoing after you meet me. Even following all the possible tips I almost never got a reply on either OKC or meet. The fact is after all this effort and not having any glimpse of success I am also thinking that maybe I will not have kids or I will try to relocate on another continent , try to be rich and have fun with my good friends and establish a charity to help people in need also because I earn more money than I need for a single person.
And by the way even if all of a sudden some of my efforts would pay off, I am so irritated by years of insuccess that I would not settle for a girl shows some slight interest without putting any effort like all these "queens" on these websites, what can they really do? Can they sustain all this stress, what do they do?